Gabba Gabba, One of Us!

Punk never dies - it just keeps getting repackaged. And if you thought every possible Ramones story had already been told, Jenn Beckwith’s ‘All Good Cretins Go To Heaven’ wants to convince you otherwise. It’s a love letter, sure, overflowing with fan energy and earnest devotion. But like a half-busted cassette played too many times, the execution doesn’t always hold up.

Beckwith opens by retracing the usual road through Ramoneslore — Joey, Johnny, Dee Dee, Tommy (back when they were Queens kids named Jeff, John, Doug, and Tom), plus the later replacements who kept the wheels spinning. There’s background on the mid-70s scene for the newcomers, and plenty of old flyers and snapshots to set the mood. But facts get fuzzy, and the writing could’ve used a good editor with a red Sharpie and a copy of Strunk & White’s “Elements of Style.”

The book’s real spark comes from the fan essays — the “we were there” dispatches from lifers and diehards who kept the torch burning long after CBGB went silent. You hear from punks, roadies, kids who found salvation in three chords and a sneer. These voices aren’t polished, but they hit the nerve that matters: the simple, stubborn joy of shouting “Gabba Gabba Hey” like it still means something.

That said, it’s frustrating when figures like John Holmstrom, Andy Shernoff, or Dave “Pinhead” Moon — people with stories that define the mythology — get glossed over; Beckwith relies heavily on third-party sources, and even when first-hand interviews were done, they’re only conveyed in short snippets of quotes. And while Beckwith’s fascination with trivia runs deep, the emotional meat — the creative friction between Joey and Johnny, the exhaustion, the weird genius, the personnel shifts in later years — barely gets touched. There’s not much actual music criticism either; albums drift by without comment, although Rock N Roll High School (the movie, not the album) gets its own chapter.

Still, it’s a breezy read, and the visuals will tickle completists. This isn’t the Ramones book that’ll teach you anything new, but it might remind you why they mattered — why that “1-2-3-4!” still feels like the start of everything. And sometimes, that’s all you need.

‘ALL GOOD CRETINS GO TO HEAVEN: The Enduring Spirit of the Ramones’ by Jenn L. Beckwith, researched by Gary Lynn Clevenger, is available in the US from DiWulf Publishing and in the UK / Europe from Earth Island Books. Grab yourself a copy now!

Jim Testa’s constant listener/constant reader: https://jimtestanj.substack.com/p/gabba-gabba-one-of-us